homebirth – Witch Mama

Lacey’s Birth

I had mentioned a home birth to my husband when we were maybe 12 weeks along and he laughed and told me I would be begging for an epidural. I never posted anything about our pregnancy on Facebook or talked about it much to anyone. I refused to be scared of childbirth. Something so natural and people try and tear you down and terrify you. Some on purpose, some not. I didn’t want to hear people’s opinions because I knew my pregnancy and labor would be nothing like theirs.

At about 24 weeks we had a Dr.s appointment and for the first time I had questions for my Doctor. I could hear her making small talk at the nurse’s station while we sat and waited and waited and waited. Then she came in and after about 10 minutes and was ready to leave. My husband and I started asking questions and she kept walking toward the door half ass answering everything. I told her I wanted to try a natural birth and she said “we’ll just see how it goes.” Chances were that she wouldn’t be catching our baby anyway, it’s whoever is on call. A total stranger.

After that appointment I knew that’s exactly what my birth would be like. My birth plan would be dismissed and I would end up being induced and having an epidural amongst other things. That night I started looking for midwives which was not an easy task. I didn’t care what it costs, I was having a home birth even if it meant I would pay more. I told my husband my intention and he was against it from the beginning. How appalling that someone would even consider to have a baby at home.

What if something happens?? In my mind, something was more likely to “happen” at a hospital. I didn’t want a million interventions. I saw them as unnecessary. I didn’t want an IV or to have to sit in a bed the entire time I labored. I didn’t want things strapped to me so the nurses to monitor me from another room and not have to even interact with me. I didn’t want some random doctor who doesn’t know me or I him. I didn’t want any strangers touching me at such a venerable time in my life.

Then when all home birth hope was lost, I finally found my midwives. They weren’t your typical prenatal appointments. Our appointments were an hour to even 2 hours at times. They listened to my baby’s heart on their couch and wanted to get to know us and not just about the pregnancy. Melanie’s house was so cozy and welcoming. She offered us something to drink and eat. My husband thought I was crazy. Hell, he thought they were crazy too. On the way home from our first meeting them I said I like them. We can do this. And I am going to do this. Of course, he remain a skeptic until the day our baby was ready to come.

My husband assumed that because they didn’t wear a white coat and work in a hospital that they couldn’t possibly know anything about delivering babies. I finally told him I was done listening to it and I was having our baby at home with or without him.

My due date was March 26th 2019 and I started having contractions the day before but they were mild and irregular so I went to work and went about my day. Her due date came and I woke up at 4am with stronger contractions but nothing I couldn’t handle, however I wasn’t going to deal with people at work so I stayed home. I told my husband to go to work and I dealt with early labor at home and stayed in good spirits. I notified one of my midwives and she told me to take a nap so I did.

About 6pm my husband returned home and that’s when my contractions started getting quite a bit stronger. I asked midwife (Dawn) to come and help me a bit. I didn’t know what to expect but the contractions were getting stronger. I decided to get in the tub and by the time I got out it was hard for me to stand during contractions and my husband came in to help me and held me. I started to break down a little bit but I knew I had a long ways to go so I had to buck up. Then Dawn arrived.

My husband was so glad she was there. He didn’t know what to do. It was alright because neither did I. We were just dealing with it one step at a time. Labor was picking up fast and my other midwife (Melanie) showed up at about midnight. I would cry out and tell them I couldn’t do it and Melanie would tell me “But you are doing it!” God she was pissing me off. Pretty soon I realized I had run completely out of tears. I was on the floor the majority of the time. After a really rough contraction I looked up at my husband and he told me it was hard to watch someone you love in so much pain.

A little after 1am my water broke and I threw up. The contractions were about back to back after that. I was so tired my head would just fall after my contractions and I would doze off. Then boom, another contraction.

At about 2am everyone in the house was trying to rest. I was being vocal and trying moan through my contractions but ended up crying and becoming louder and louder. I did this for maybe an hour. Finally Dawn got up and suggested I try sitting on the toilet. Dear God, she trying to make it worse. I went into the bathroom and had the worst contraction yet. My whole body was affect by it. I asked Dawn to sit with me. We sat there through 3-4 contractions and I had enough. She told me let’s walk around the house a bit. So snail pace I went from room to room.

I finally ended up at the kitchen and felt a contraction coming in so I made a mad dash to the rug by our sink and continued my noise. Dawn brought me a chair to lean on and a ball but I couldn’t be pleased so she let me do what I felt was right. Finally my whole body started hurling like it does when you’re about to puke. I yelled “something’s happening!” Turns out it was my baby moving down. I was on my knees with my hands on my thighs and Dawn called for my husband who was attempting to rest and Melanie. The baby was moving down fast and soon I felt a burning sensation but it didn’t bother me because this part was a relief from the contractions. Dawn asked my husband if he wanted to see his baby’s head and he looked down and started to cry. Shortly after that, in about 2 minutes, my beautiful baby girl was born. I honestly don’t remember pushing at all. My body guided her out like it’s supposed to.

My body knew exactly what to do. I didn’t do anything until I was ready and it made everything go so much more smoothly. I didn’t strain or rush the labor. I knew my body was capable but I was thankful to have my midwives to remind me, even when it was hard and I said I couldn’t. I held my baby in my arms and I walked to the bedroom. I was shaking but not from being cold. It was so exciting and I couldn’t even believe we did it!

Lacey was born at 3:40am on March 27. Nobody in our families knew we were doing a home birth. I had sent my husband’s mother a message asking if she could come over at about 10am and help me with a few things and when she arrived she seen we had had our baby. I’ve never seen a look of more surprised and confusion in my life but it was wonderful. We told her we had the baby early that morning at home with 2 midwives and she was completely overjoyed that everyone was safe and happy to meet our newest addition.

I would like to mention since I didn’t rush or force my body to go against my labor progression, I had an incredible postpartum recovery as well. I had no tearing and the swelling went down within the first few days. My body wasn’t sore from having to bare down to push and I had no depression what so ever. My pregnancy was incredible. My labor was natural and my recovery was record breaking.

You do not have to settle during pregnancy and the birth of your baby. I had a birth plan and to a T it was followed. I wasn’t pushed to do anything I didn’t want to do or have unnecessary interventions. I wasn’t given drugs to augment my labor. I literally let my body do what it was MEANT to do. Nobody can ever take away this experience from me and I am so thankful for that. I wasn’t traumatized but empowered. I felt so strong and incredible. The high I felt after I had my daughter was irreplaceable. I didn’t have people I didn’t know watching the most important day of my life. I had friends and my loved one. Birth doesn’t have to be cold and impersonal. It truly was beautiful.

The Birth of Ophelia

July 18th, 2017, I became a mother. I began having mild contractions early in the morning but didn’t think much of it. Around 7:30/8am I decided that a bath sounded like a nice idea. Felix came in twenty minutes later and began to time my contractions. They lasted around 35/45 seconds and came every two to three minutes. I decided to message my midwives and let them know what was up. Melanie suggested I pretend as much as possible like I wasn’t in labor, so Felix and I decided to go run errands. We went to the grocery store, (and let me tell you, pretending like you aren’t having contractions in the middle of a public space is a tough one.) Then we stopped down at tech guys, and I made a visit to my chiro. We got home and I thought I would try to take a nap, but the contractions were getting more intense and sleep didn’t really look like an option. I decided that I should probably have my doula, Rebeca head over. She got to the house around 2:30 and at that point I was feeling the contractions getting stronger. I got into the birth tub shortly after her arrival. After a few waves of some serious contractions, I got out to use the restroom and she asked if I felt like I needed to push. I definitely was getting to that point, so she quickly messaged my midwives to let them know they should probably head over. They arrived around 3:30 and checked me at 4. I was dilated to 9 cm. I got back into the birth pool and let my contractions roll through me. I moaned and growled through them but didn’t feel like it was too terrible. All of the sudden the need to push became overwhelming and then the head was out. I had a firm grip on my doula and my midwives said I needed to let go so I could catch my baby. I reached down and my baby slid out and into my arms. I could not believe what had just happened. I felt so much pride and relief in the fact that I just had my first baby, unmedicated, in my bedroom on my own terms and didn’t even tear. I felt so powerful and happy and full of joy. My water never broke so my baby was still in the sac. Which is called en caul. It’s a rare occurrence, only one in every 80,000 births happen this way. Many cultures see it as a good omen and a sign that the baby is blessed with good luck. I cradled my baby in my arms and was so overjoyed. Felix ran to be next to me and was crying his eyes out. We both were so happy we forgot to see what the baby was. (Which I know everyone is dying to know.) My sweet baby girl, Ophelia Arcadia Colón was born at 5:28pm, weighing 8 pounds, 4 ounces, and was 20 inches long. She’s perfect in every way and I have never been more in love in my life.

The Birth of Emrys

Tori: I had made peace with the fact that it was likely my planned homebirth was not going to happen. The day before I hit 42 weeks gestation, my breech baby wouldn’t turn after 3 attempts by my midwives to turn him externally (on Monday) and my attempts to turn him with homeopathy, essential oils, inversions, keeping active – he wouldn’t budge.

Although still in normal range, my blood pressure was rising, my feet were swelling like crazy, and I was miserable. My mom and sister had been staying with me, helping keep house and watch after my rambunctious 2 year old the past week, and they needed to go home to their jobs. Melanie, one of my midwives, helped me schedule an ultrasound through a connection with a CNM who worked in a hospital the next morning (Tuesday) – to look more closely at positioning and to see if the cord or placenta placement were in a dangerous spot or interfering with him being able to turn. I knew any hospital involvement could likely lead to a c-section very quickly, and I began working on accepting this.

I lived 2 hours away from all of my midwives and nowhere near a hospital I trusted. The decision was made, and I would go and stay at another of my midwives houses, Dawn’s house. This way Dawn and Melanie could take me to my ultrasound the next day and in the event that I did need a hospital birth, I would be closer to better hospitals.

My mom drove my son and I to Dawn’s house that night. We arrived around 10 pm and I tearfully said goodbye to my mom and got my son and I ready for bed. Around midnight, I am told Dawn heard me making a lot of noise in bed, she went downstairs to see me kicking the covers off myself and turning from side to side a lot. She folded clothes for a while before being certain that I was still dead asleep.
I woke up at 3:30 am and had to use the bathroom. I quickly realized that what I thought was only bowel discomfort was actually contractions. I was stunned. I quickly tried to move myself away from slight panic to acceptance and trust in my body and myself. I went back out to bed with the intention of laying back down, when I found Juniper, my son, sitting up in bed. I decided to just put him in the shower with me. He was very sweet with me – I hugged him and swayed with him in the water during contractions and I felt so much love for him. My contractions were quickly getting stronger and seemed closer together than I would have expected for early labor so I called Dawn to come down. Juniper was getting whiney so I asked her to put a movie on for him. My water was getting cold and so I decided to get out of the shower – I asked Dawn for the birth ball and I tried to lay down – since my baby was breech I wasn’t supposed to be moving around a lot. Dawn called Melanie and handed the phone to me, she wanted to stay on the phone for a few minutes to judge how I was doing. I had a contraction and realized I was starting to moan through then. Dawn got me the birth ball and I leaned over it and worked for about 45 minutes – using my voice to match the intensity I was feeling and swaying my hips.

By the time Melanie got there I was feeling pressure to push and wanted to get in the tub. They reminded me not to push – I couldn’t push until the belly button was born. Rachel, another midwife got there soon after. They all talked quietly in-between my contractions. I knew my moans were getting deeper and more primal – why wasn’t anyone telling me how close I was? I knew it had to be close. Melanie told me she wanted to check me when I wanted to get out of the tub, but that she didn’t have to yet. It was getting very difficult not to push, my midwives instructed me to blow through my contractions, like I would blow out birthday candles.  

“I just want to push”, I started saying.

“I know, you’re being super strong” Melanie said.

“It super sucks”, I replied. It did. I didn’t know how much longer I could resist these urges.

“How is he going to come out if I can’t push?” I said.

“He will”, Melanie said, “Women in comas get their babies out.”
“Deep breaths before you go up the hill” someone told me before a contraction. That visualization helped me greatly through quite a few more really intense ones – deep breath, then blow blow blow up the hill – big sigh and let it go. Sprinkled amongst the intense ‘hills’ I would have a contraction that was soft enough to just breathe deeply through. Those were very nice and felt like the waves people talk about having during labor – gifts from the sea.

Finally, I knew I had to be close. I also had the feeling my midwives knew that, too, but weren’t telling me for some reason and that I wasn’t going to have this baby until I got myself out of the tub. After I heard myself whimper, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ I mustered up enough strength to get out of the tub and walk over to the futon, so Melanie could check me. She told me I was a 9 and I felt so relieved, but still couldn’t push. I laid on my side and continued to try my best to suppress very intense urges to push, finally I had one I couldn’t quite get on top of and my body pushed, breaking my waters.

“It feels like there’s a foot in my vagina” I said.

“There is a foot in your vagina” Melanie laughed.

Melanie checked to make sure the cord hadn’t also come with the foot and it hadn’t so I went back to trying not to push which was now even more impossible seeming.

Dawn: “It feels like it’s going back in, is it going back in?” cried Tori.

“It is, just a for a moment” I replied to her.

At this point Tori entered her primal place in birth. While Tori’s older son, Juniper watched with his child sitter, Neva, at Tori’s bedside, we saw a foot emerge at 7:08 am, a mere three minutes after her membranes ruptured and only eight minutes after, practically, sprinting out of the bathtub. As the first foot emerged and Melanie was checking to determine that the cord wasn’t presenting next, she asked Tori if she would like to, very gently, touch the foot. Tori’s response was of the utmost of appropriateness. “NO!!! Don’t touch the breech!” As we had been drilling for weeks, ever since her baby flipped to breech during the third trimester. During this time, Melanie and Rachel were getting the room ready for the work ahead of Tori. Tori was struggling to keep from pushing and to keep blow blow blowing this baby out. I got in her face and helped her keep eye contact with me and reminded her to blow as best she could. By this time, Tori was working to not push, so she managed a half-power push while desperately trying to blow the contractions away.

As the feet and knees delivered Melanie told Tori she needed her to be at the edge of the bed, rather than on her side in the middle, so she asked if Tori could move, Tori’s response was a vehement, ‘NO!’ as she shook her head at me. Rachel asked nicely very nicely to be able to move Tori. Tori had a look of panic on her face at the thought of moving purposefully as this baby was almost half out of her body. This was my sign to say that we just need to move her. Rachel and I moved her to the edge of the bed, so that as the baby emerged he would be able to hang as needed to facilitate his delivery. While the knees and buttocks arrived, Tori continued to blow away the contractions as best she could.

Watching Melanie’s hands twitching to do something was amazing to watch. Hands off the breech is a bit harder than it sounds. When Melanie was able to see the umbilicus she asked for a timekeeper and Rachel started timekeeping for the remainder of the birth. Tori was getting really tired and wanted desperately to push, it was getting more difficult to keep her focus. There were many times I had to tell her to look me in the eye and I blew out breaths with her. There was a surreal moment that Tori relaxed while the baby was doing his breech dance. His body was undulating and getting in the right position to deliver his head.

Melanie was watching closely and when she visualized the mouth, she said, “Tori, now you can push like a motherf**cker”. Tori pushed with two contractions and he was earthside. He was coughing and clearing his lungs immediately. Rachel called out the final time of 90 seconds as Tori delivered the head. Rachel and I started to gently stimulate the baby’s back to help him really empty his lungs while he snuggled into Tori’s breasts. Tori commented, “I did it!” and then asked if ‘he was ok, was he breathing?’, she was unsure of our reassurances that he was, indeed, breathing, just calm. Rachel reassured Tori, again, that her baby was breathing, and pinking up just fine. The time from the first foot to birth was a short ten minutes, that felt like a lifetime. Tori’s baby, Emrys, was born at 7:18 am and weighed 8 lbs 13 oz.