homebirth – Witch Mama

Lacey’s Birth

I had mentioned a home birth to my husband when we were maybe 12 weeks along and he laughed and told me I would be begging for an epidural. I never posted anything about our pregnancy on Facebook or talked about it much to anyone. I refused to be scared of childbirth. Something so natural and people try and tear you down and terrify you. Some on purpose, some not. I didn’t want to hear people’s opinions because I knew my pregnancy and labor would be nothing like theirs.

At about 24 weeks we had a Dr.s appointment and for the first time I had questions for my Doctor. I could hear her making small talk at the nurse’s station while we sat and waited and waited and waited. Then she came in and after about 10 minutes and was ready to leave. My husband and I started asking questions and she kept walking toward the door half ass answering everything. I told her I wanted to try a natural birth and she said “we’ll just see how it goes.” Chances were that she wouldn’t be catching our baby anyway, it’s whoever is on call. A total stranger.

After that appointment I knew that’s exactly what my birth would be like. My birth plan would be dismissed and I would end up being induced and having an epidural amongst other things. That night I started looking for midwives which was not an easy task. I didn’t care what it costs, I was having a home birth even if it meant I would pay more. I told my husband my intention and he was against it from the beginning. How appalling that someone would even consider to have a baby at home.

What if something happens?? In my mind, something was more likely to “happen” at a hospital. I didn’t want a million interventions. I saw them as unnecessary. I didn’t want an IV or to have to sit in a bed the entire time I labored. I didn’t want things strapped to me so the nurses to monitor me from another room and not have to even interact with me. I didn’t want some random doctor who doesn’t know me or I him. I didn’t want any strangers touching me at such a venerable time in my life.

Then when all home birth hope was lost, I finally found my midwives. They weren’t your typical prenatal appointments. Our appointments were an hour to even 2 hours at times. They listened to my baby’s heart on their couch and wanted to get to know us and not just about the pregnancy. Melanie’s house was so cozy and welcoming. She offered us something to drink and eat. My husband thought I was crazy. Hell, he thought they were crazy too. On the way home from our first meeting them I said I like them. We can do this. And I am going to do this. Of course, he remain a skeptic until the day our baby was ready to come.

My husband assumed that because they didn’t wear a white coat and work in a hospital that they couldn’t possibly know anything about delivering babies. I finally told him I was done listening to it and I was having our baby at home with or without him.

My due date was March 26th 2019 and I started having contractions the day before but they were mild and irregular so I went to work and went about my day. Her due date came and I woke up at 4am with stronger contractions but nothing I couldn’t handle, however I wasn’t going to deal with people at work so I stayed home. I told my husband to go to work and I dealt with early labor at home and stayed in good spirits. I notified one of my midwives and she told me to take a nap so I did.

About 6pm my husband returned home and that’s when my contractions started getting quite a bit stronger. I asked midwife (Dawn) to come and help me a bit. I didn’t know what to expect but the contractions were getting stronger. I decided to get in the tub and by the time I got out it was hard for me to stand during contractions and my husband came in to help me and held me. I started to break down a little bit but I knew I had a long ways to go so I had to buck up. Then Dawn arrived.

My husband was so glad she was there. He didn’t know what to do. It was alright because neither did I. We were just dealing with it one step at a time. Labor was picking up fast and my other midwife (Melanie) showed up at about midnight. I would cry out and tell them I couldn’t do it and Melanie would tell me “But you are doing it!” God she was pissing me off. Pretty soon I realized I had run completely out of tears. I was on the floor the majority of the time. After a really rough contraction I looked up at my husband and he told me it was hard to watch someone you love in so much pain.

A little after 1am my water broke and I threw up. The contractions were about back to back after that. I was so tired my head would just fall after my contractions and I would doze off. Then boom, another contraction.

At about 2am everyone in the house was trying to rest. I was being vocal and trying moan through my contractions but ended up crying and becoming louder and louder. I did this for maybe an hour. Finally Dawn got up and suggested I try sitting on the toilet. Dear God, she trying to make it worse. I went into the bathroom and had the worst contraction yet. My whole body was affect by it. I asked Dawn to sit with me. We sat there through 3-4 contractions and I had enough. She told me let’s walk around the house a bit. So snail pace I went from room to room.

I finally ended up at the kitchen and felt a contraction coming in so I made a mad dash to the rug by our sink and continued my noise. Dawn brought me a chair to lean on and a ball but I couldn’t be pleased so she let me do what I felt was right. Finally my whole body started hurling like it does when you’re about to puke. I yelled “something’s happening!” Turns out it was my baby moving down. I was on my knees with my hands on my thighs and Dawn called for my husband who was attempting to rest and Melanie. The baby was moving down fast and soon I felt a burning sensation but it didn’t bother me because this part was a relief from the contractions. Dawn asked my husband if he wanted to see his baby’s head and he looked down and started to cry. Shortly after that, in about 2 minutes, my beautiful baby girl was born. I honestly don’t remember pushing at all. My body guided her out like it’s supposed to.

My body knew exactly what to do. I didn’t do anything until I was ready and it made everything go so much more smoothly. I didn’t strain or rush the labor. I knew my body was capable but I was thankful to have my midwives to remind me, even when it was hard and I said I couldn’t. I held my baby in my arms and I walked to the bedroom. I was shaking but not from being cold. It was so exciting and I couldn’t even believe we did it!

Lacey was born at 3:40am on March 27. Nobody in our families knew we were doing a home birth. I had sent my husband’s mother a message asking if she could come over at about 10am and help me with a few things and when she arrived she seen we had had our baby. I’ve never seen a look of more surprised and confusion in my life but it was wonderful. We told her we had the baby early that morning at home with 2 midwives and she was completely overjoyed that everyone was safe and happy to meet our newest addition.

I would like to mention since I didn’t rush or force my body to go against my labor progression, I had an incredible postpartum recovery as well. I had no tearing and the swelling went down within the first few days. My body wasn’t sore from having to bare down to push and I had no depression what so ever. My pregnancy was incredible. My labor was natural and my recovery was record breaking.

You do not have to settle during pregnancy and the birth of your baby. I had a birth plan and to a T it was followed. I wasn’t pushed to do anything I didn’t want to do or have unnecessary interventions. I wasn’t given drugs to augment my labor. I literally let my body do what it was MEANT to do. Nobody can ever take away this experience from me and I am so thankful for that. I wasn’t traumatized but empowered. I felt so strong and incredible. The high I felt after I had my daughter was irreplaceable. I didn’t have people I didn’t know watching the most important day of my life. I had friends and my loved one. Birth doesn’t have to be cold and impersonal. It truly was beautiful.

The Birth of Ophelia

July 18th, 2017, I became a mother. I began having mild contractions early in the morning but didn’t think much of it. Around 7:30/8am I decided that a bath sounded like a nice idea. Felix came in twenty minutes later and began to time my contractions. They lasted around 35/45 seconds and came every two to three minutes. I decided to message my midwives and let them know what was up. Melanie suggested I pretend as much as possible like I wasn’t in labor, so Felix and I decided to go run errands. We went to the grocery store, (and let me tell you, pretending like you aren’t having contractions in the middle of a public space is a tough one.) Then we stopped down at tech guys, and I made a visit to my chiro. We got home and I thought I would try to take a nap, but the contractions were getting more intense and sleep didn’t really look like an option. I decided that I should probably have my doula, Rebeca head over. She got to the house around 2:30 and at that point I was feeling the contractions getting stronger. I got into the birth tub shortly after her arrival. After a few waves of some serious contractions, I got out to use the restroom and she asked if I felt like I needed to push. I definitely was getting to that point, so she quickly messaged my midwives to let them know they should probably head over. They arrived around 3:30 and checked me at 4. I was dilated to 9 cm. I got back into the birth pool and let my contractions roll through me. I moaned and growled through them but didn’t feel like it was too terrible. All of the sudden the need to push became overwhelming and then the head was out. I had a firm grip on my doula and my midwives said I needed to let go so I could catch my baby. I reached down and my baby slid out and into my arms. I could not believe what had just happened. I felt so much pride and relief in the fact that I just had my first baby, unmedicated, in my bedroom on my own terms and didn’t even tear. I felt so powerful and happy and full of joy. My water never broke so my baby was still in the sac. Which is called en caul. It’s a rare occurrence, only one in every 80,000 births happen this way. Many cultures see it as a good omen and a sign that the baby is blessed with good luck. I cradled my baby in my arms and was so overjoyed. Felix ran to be next to me and was crying his eyes out. We both were so happy we forgot to see what the baby was. (Which I know everyone is dying to know.) My sweet baby girl, Ophelia Arcadia Colón was born at 5:28pm, weighing 8 pounds, 4 ounces, and was 20 inches long. She’s perfect in every way and I have never been more in love in my life.

Interviewing Your Midwife

(This is a rewrite of a client hand out I wrote in the early 90’s. It was funny to change phone numbers into website links. And interesting to note that some of the questions had changed. For example, I had to include ‘how far past my due date may I go?’. -xoxo Midwife Melanie)

You’ve decided you want a natural birth. And you know a midwife is the best person to support that decision during your pregnancy, labor, and birth. But how do you go about finding a midwife? And once you do, how do you know she’s the midwife for you?

In Iowa, there are different types of midwives:

Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) are the most widely recognized group of professional midwives. They are registered nurses who have gone on for additional training as midwives. After attending an educational program accredited by the American College of Nurse Midwives Certification Council they must pass their examination and then are licensed. CNMs generally work under the supervision of a doctor (but in Iowa they can be independent!) Most carry malpractice insurance and participate in hospital births only. However, there are some CNMs that do attend homebirths and often they accept insurance reimbursement.

Direct Entry Midwives (also called traditional, lay, independent, or Certified Professional Midwives) are not required to become nurses before training to be midwives. They arrive at their practice through a variety of routes including personal study and experience, formal training programs, and/ or private apprenticeship. Direct entry midwifery is not recognized in Iowa or Illinois, so these midwives might be more difficult to find and do not accept insurance. (My readers in Minnesota and Wisconsin are far luckier!) However they are homebirth specialists!

A Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) is a type of direct entry midwife who has had her skills and experience evaluated by the North American Registry of Midwives and passed a written examination.

The first step is finding midwives to interview. Ask friends who loved their birth experience. Go to the local La Leche League or Crunchy Mama facebook page and ask around. Also, check out midwifery websites like the ACNM, MANA, NARM, and Midwifery Today.

It is important to interview two or three midwives before you make a decision. It will help if you have an idea of the kind of birth you would like. Do you want to deliver at home? Hospital? Birth Center?Do you want a midwife who will massage and encourage you during labor or do you want someone who will basically sit in the corner and knit, intervening only if there is a problem? Do you want FHTs to be monitored with a fetoscope intermittently or hooked up to an electronic fetal monitor? Do you want to deliver in water? Although midwives are alike in many ways, in many more ways they are very different.

Here is a list of questions you can ask when interviewing your midwife. Don’t be shy, midwives like to know their clients are a good match!

-Why did you become a midwife?

-What kind of training have you had?

-Do you practice at homebirths? Birth Centers? Hospitals?

-Are you certified or licensed?

-Do you belong to professional organizations, attend conferences and workshops, subscribe to professional journals?

-What basic philosophies guide your practice?

-How many births have you attended?

-How many births do you attend a month?

-What tests do you require prenatally?

-How far past my due date will you allow me to go?

-Do you deliver VBAC, breeches, or twins?

-What emergency equipment will be available at the birth? What isn’t available?

-What kind of emergency situations have you handled?

-Have you ever given birth?

-Did you breastfeed?

-Who will attend my birth with you?

-How will you monitor my progress?

-How will you monitor my baby’s health?

-May I eat and drink during labor?

-May my other children be present?

-Do you use herbal or homeopathic remedies?

-May I deliver in a birth pool?

-May I or my partner catch my baby? Assuming all is well?

-If we transport to the hospital will you stay with me?

-What is you transfer rate?

-What is your induction rate?

-What is your cesarean section rate?

-What is your episiotomy rate?

-What is your fee and what does it include?

-What kind of commitments are we responsible for; childbirth classes, back up doctor, lab work, hospital registration, birth certificates, new born testing, supplies…..?

-What do you consider your responsibilities as our midwife?

These are initial questions to be asked at your first meeting. There are hundreds of other questions that you will ask through out your pregnancy. It should be very important to your prospective midwife that you know the complete answer to each question. Try to schedule a special interview visit, so you aren’t sitting on an exam table wearing a sheet.

It is important to remember that midwives are providing a service to you. As a consumer, you should be fully informed of your options. This will not only help ensure that you feel empowered by your birth experience, but will also change birth, for all women and babies, for the better.

Wolf’s Birth Story

Aeddon Wolf Valdimar
VBAC, 6th Baby
“How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world”
Sunday, August 27, 2006

(This post is my first in a few years. What better way than to blog about Wolf’s birth on his TENTH birthday?!)

I was dreaming of a family friend fighting a lion. I awoke in a puddle of water. I rushed to turn on the light and woke my husband. But I could smell it was just pee, so I tossed a towel over it and went back to sleep.

I awoke again a few hours later to the sound of my teenage daughter, Tabitha, rushing around getting ready for work. I jumped up and drove to Muscatine with the dawn. I hung out at the coffee shop for a few minutes while Tabitha made me an Americano. I told her my hips felt “wonky” and maybe today would be the day. She said not to wait too long to get her if I was.

At home my husband Chris and I read the newspaper and had fun sex.
Mmmmm…

Being Sunday it was “clean the house day”. As I worked I noticed cramping- of course I had been cramping everyday, but these seemed more regular.

I was sweeping at 10 am when Chris said, “everything okay?” I confessed to contracting every 15 minutes but tried not to get too excited.

Chris cooked me two fried eggs with salt and maple syrup. Yummy!

At 12:30 I thought I’d see if a walk “in the wild wind” would be helpful. I went alone. My contractions were 6 minutes apart. I would stop and focus on butterflies. Sometimes I would pee myself. Guess the baby’s head was moving down! On my walk I saw a flock of geese and a beautiful heron. I took it as a sign of good luck. I walked one mile.

Back home I sat on the porch swing with Chris. We talked about setting up a birth tub in the dining room in case of heavy rain- it was very overcast. I told Chris I really wanted Tabitha to come home, even if this was a false alarm. But I had no cramps while we swung and he said we could wait until she got done at 3:30.

Chris cleaned and set up the birth tub. I folded the laundry. I got a few bigger contractions. On my walk I imagined wings unfurling from my hips, but now it was more like knives twisting. Chris finished the tub and left to pick up Tab.

My 13 year old son Rowan played with the other children while I lay down for a nap. I missed Chris. I remember enjoying a nap with him at our last birth. Contractions came every 7 minutes, but I did sleep between them.

Chris and Tab return around 4. I tried doing a few chores. Chris told me later he saw me pause to squat while hanging sheets to dry. I then sat in the outdoor hot tub for a few minutes but it seemed to slow things down. I decided to watch “Moulin Rouge” with the kids while Chris started making sushi.

Pearl (midwife 1) called on a hunch to see what was going on at my house. I told her I was contracting, but not regular enough, so we’d call later.

Chris checked my cervix. 8? 9? No head though.

I called K. (midwife 2) to check in. We spoke for 9 minutes during which I had 3 short contractions. Maybe she’d stop out after supper… By now I was singing pretty loud with Ewan and Nicole.

One more trip to the toilet (bloody show!) and I was off to the hot tub again.

The contractions were really strong now. I felt nauseous and asked for a bucket. I checked myself. Lip of cervix, bag, head. I told Chris he should give up on the sushi and call the midwives.

I floated sideways in the tub. It helped me to remember I didn’t need to hold onto the contraction. I could ‘let it go’. Then a calm. The contractions slowed. The pain lessened. Chris’ face was there. “The midwives won’t make it in time”. I closed my eyes.

I remember my friend Jenni once saying “you don’t have to push”. I said this to myself for many urges.

Then it felt better to give a little push. My water broke. My whole beautiful family was watching. Rowan had the video camera. The kids were all taking pictures.

I would change positions often. Hand and knees. Squatting. Kneeling. This baby sure was taking a long time to come out!

I could feel the head inside my labia. Chris leaned in and felt. Tabitha leaned in and felt. The water wet her white t-shirt and her pink bra showed through (like in Duece Bigelow the teens said.) It made me smile.

The baby kept kicking and wiggling inside me. “Let me do it, baby”, I said. The head would crown and go all the way back in. “Come on, monkey”. I always call my children monkeys. Crown again. In again.

The head finally came. So intense! What a big head! Wait for the next contraction. I leaned back and put some traction on the head. No rotation. The baby squeezed its own arms out. Stuck at the armpits?! Chris is in the tub now. I unwrap the cord from the baby’s neck. Push again. Finally born!!! 8:08 pm. Beautiful! “What is it?” I ask Morgan Finn (5). “A boy!” my children move in close to touch their brother. This is one of the most perfect moments of my life.

After a while it is dark. Rhiannon (10) cuts the cord. I get out while Archer (8) wraps the baby. I move into bed.

The midwives arrive. Archer, Morgan Finn and K. deliver my placenta. Pearl and the children make placenta prints. Tabitha cooks the placenta for me – delicious! We eat enchiladas and drink wine. We sing happy birthday and eat birthday cake with a zero candle.

The first scale says 11 pounds, 11 ounces. We try two more scales and settle on 11 – 8.

The midwives go home. The children spread sleeping bags in my room and I am tucked in with Wolf. Bliss.