Midwife Melanie

Can You Make Me A Witch?

I often meet people who are wanting to become witches. They ask a lot of questions and read a lot of books. Then when I see them again, they have joined a local church. Which is fine, but I feel as if I have somehow failed them, and Paganism at large. I have been tossing this around in my head lately.

I need to remember that these folks are “seekers”. And as a witch, I don’t proselytize. And I am a loner. And a sucky friend. When you become a witch, it’s not all free childcare and basement potlucks. There’s no catechism. And there are definitely no easy answers. Especially when life gets difficult.

That’s not to say you won’t make new friends. Go to a festival. Join a book club. But for the most part, you’ve got to do it yourself. Want a ritual? Do it! Invite your friends or your neighbors or your children. Or not. Start a study group. And you might get teased. But you might not. Just be proud. Being a witch serves an important social function. And not everyone is cut out for it.

Being a witch means changing people’s perceptions. You might be just the witch of your family. You might be the witch of your apartment building. Your trailer court. Your town. Even the witch of a Pagan festival. Or a country. You can do it, if you want to. And although I’ll do my best to inspire you, I can’t do it for you.

Seven Days of Blogging: Day 1, Unprofound

So I haven’t been blogging much lately. Much of it is the fault of this:

And some of it is because I don’t want to post anything that is not profound.

I have a friend who is a successful blogger. We were visiting and she said ” You’re posts don’t have to be profound, people just want a glimpse into your life.” Maybe that’s true. Maybe she’s a liar. She did also say that bangs were going out of style.

So what was my day like?

It began with a Bollywood:

Then apple galettes.

Then, a lot of ladies came over to watch FCBD Vol.9 with me. What? You weren’t here? I invited you!

One of them gave me a gift.

And I had an interesting discussion with one of their nine year old boys on the appropriateness of the godesses’ breasts, and the salvation of my soul.

Then I had some emotions about troupe dynamics.

And for dinner we had potluck leftovers.

And rum.

And I ordered a vulva necklace. Take that, nine year old.

So what did you do today? Do you want to read my unprofound posts? Well, if so, you’re in for a week long treat. And if not, brace yourself.

2012 Resolutions – The Year of Win.

We are all sick here at Many Hands House. A rare thing for me, I have always had an immune system of iron, while Chris’ is more like a sieve. It’s a rotten time to be sick. So many friends to not be visiting, so many festivities canceled. However, I have been trying to see the silver lining in it. After weeks of constant running around, shopping, cooking, cleaning, we are forced to just be. Taking care of each other. Taking turns reading aloud (The Outsiders). And dreaming.
So today we wrote our New Years’ resolutions. We write them every year. And we named the upcoming year as well. Last year was called “Up and Running”. This year “The Year of Win”.

1. Eat salads with every meal.
We were doing really well with this. It was on last years list too. But when the weather cools off, we seem to forget.

2. Exercise more.
Again, so easy when the weather is good.

3. Help Méabh communicate.
Méabh has frequent speech therapy, and we are working on signing. It gives me hope to recall that last year we were helping her learn to walk, and now look at her. You should see her bellydance!

4. Write personal goals with the children and help them achieve them.

5. Chris will continue with grad school awesomeness.

6. I will make my midwifery and unda more thoughtful and successful.
Both have been through big changes. But I’m not giving up. This goal is vague, I have written my own lists for both.

7. I will put more energy into homeschooling.
It is so different to homeschool teens! And I will make sure that my focus is in line with Waldorf education.

8. I want to cultivate important friendships and end those that weigh me down.

9. And of course, the long list of home improvements:
Organize the basement; fix the hot tub; rent a dumpster; a new arch for the prarie; more bees and trees; great gardening

10. Two reliable vehicles would be nice.

11. Blog more!

(OK – there were only 10 originally – I added the cars part just now as I was typing this.)

You know what is most striking to me is how normal these resolutions are. And isn’t that wonderful? No “I hope my sons operations go well”, or “I hope this court case ends soon.” Just nice comfortable plans. And I bet they are similar to yours.

What are your New Years’ resolutions?

Mother Berta’s Coming To Town

by Steven Posch

Tune: “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town“

You better watch out when winter comes nigh
You better not doubt, I’m telling you why
Mother Berta’s coming to town

She carries a sack made out of skin
She dumps the toys out and stuffs the kids in
Mother Berta’s coming to town

She rides on Master Skeggi
A Goat whose back is strong
Her beard is grey and scraggly
And her tail is ten feet long!

With six or eight horns, a moustache or two
Make a mistake, she’s coming for YOU!
Mother Berta’s coming to town.

She knows with whom your sleeping
She knows with whom you wake
She knows each thought you’re thinking
So don’t THINK! For Goddess sake

So when the winds howl way up in the sky
Listen as she and Skeggi pass by

Mother Berta’s coming
Mother Berta’s coming
Mother Berta’s coming
Mother Berta’s coming to town!

Herb Walk: Yellow Dock & Dandelion Root Iron Syrup

It’s the time of year for digging up roots. And that’s what I have been doing this week. Mostly yellow dock and dandelion. I was planning to make an iron tincture, but my friend recommended this Iron Syrup recipe from herbalist Aviva Jill Romm:

1/2 ounce each dried dandelion root and dried yellow dock root

1/2 cup blackstrap molasses

1/8 cup brandy (I used rum, because I like it and it’s what I had)

First I gently cleaned them, then chopped them up finely.
I put the chopped roots into a quart jar.

Then I poured very hot water over them and left them sit over night.

Next, I strained them into a pot and simmered until I was left with 1 cup of liquid infusion. This is called a decoction.

To this I added the blackstrap molasses while still heating.

As soon as it was mixed, I removed it from the heat. Then I added rum.

It tastes good! I am keeping it in the refrigerator where I hope it will last 3 or 4 months.

I’ve been taking a spoonfull every day, along with a Vitamin C chewable. I love it!

What herbs are you gathering? What have you been creating?

The Charge of the Goddess

Listen to the words of the Great Mother, She who of old was also called among men Artemis, Astarte, Athene, Dione, Melusine, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Dana, Arianrhod, Isis, Bride, and by many other names.

“Whenever ye have need of any thing, once in the month, and better it be when the moon is full, then shall ye assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of me, who am Queen of all witches. There shall ye assemble, ye who are fain to learn all sorcery, yet have not won its deepest secrets; to these will I teach things that are yet unknown. And ye shall be free from slavery; and as a sign that ye be really free, ye shall be naked in your rites; and ye shall dance, sing, feast, make music and love all in my praise. For mine is the ecstacy of the spirit, and mine also is joy on earth; for my law is love unto all beings. Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it; let naught stop you or turn you aside. For mine is the secret door which opens upon the Land of Youth, and mine is the cup of the wine of life, and the Cauldron of Cerridwen, which is the Holy Grail of immortality. I am the gracious Goddess, who gives the gift of joy unto the heart of man. Upon earth, I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal; and beyond death, I give peace, and freedom, and reunion with those who have gone before. Nor do I demand sacrifice; for behold, I am the Mother of all living, and my love is poured out upon the earth.”

Hear ye the words of the Star Goddess; she in the dust of whose feet are the hosts of heaven, and whose body encircles the universe.

“I who am the beauty of the green earth, and the white Moon among the stars, and the mystery of the waters, and the desire of the heart of man, call unto thy soul. Arise, and come unto me, For I am the soul of nature, who gives life to the universe. From me all things proceed, and unto me all things must return; and before my face, beloved of Gods and of men, let thine innermost divine self be enfolded in the rapture of the infinite. Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth; for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you. And thou who thinkest to seek for me, know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not unless thou knowest the mystery; that if that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never find it without thee. For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.”

-Doreen Valiente

Samhain Giveaway!

Sorry we’ve been such neglectful bloggers. We have been Internet free (thanks to country living and the sleazy Hughes.net) for over a month now, which isn’t all bad. But we have missed you all! And so to make it up to you, we promise to blog something every day this week, even if we have to type it all with our thumbs. And if that’s not enough, we are having a book give away!

Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Tradition by Starhawk, Anne Hill and Diane Baker is a treasure trove of ritual, story, seasonal activities and advice. Our family reads from it at every Sabbat and uses it often as a reference and for inspiration.

To enter the drawing, you must do two things. Sign up to “follow us by email” (if you already have, just let us know, and thank you!) AND leave us a comment sharing your plans for Samhain.
We will randomly choose a winner, this Sunday, at 5:00.

We look forward to your comments!

Mirth and Reverence

The Green Phallus

I (Melanie) love penises.

I have worn a penis necklace often for decades:

I have worked to keep penises intact.

I love Anaïs Nin’s story of a woman who loved penises so much that she pretends to faint during a Scottish parade so as to get a better view.

And yet, I am uncomfortable with the adventures of “green phallus”.

When I first saw the green phallus at a festival, I loved it. It embodied so many things I love: fiber arts, amigurami, penises.

But as time traveled on, I began to feel uncomfortable with green phallus. Or rather, the way it was being treated. Paraded around like a joke. People openly performing sexual acts upon it. Now, you all know that I am bawdy. But in public space, with children present, at 10 in the morning? Even my strong stomach turned. What if this were a vulva? Vulvas are fun. They are sexy. They are sacred.

But can you imagine a toy vulva being licked, worn, fucked, etc, at a morning meeting? It might be upsetting!

Chris also feels very conflicted about the adventures of the Green Phallus. On one hoof, he loves the humor, and holds humor as a sacred thing. He enjoys the light-hearted play around the Green Phallus adventures. We don’t want to offend anyone, many of whom we love and respect, who have been having such a good time with it.

So, we are offering the following in the spirit of balance, and not criticism; to be viewed in addition to the fun, not instead of the fun.

Our ancestors have employed the symbol of the phallus in their worship for millennia:

Ithyphallic deities are present in many pagan cultures:

Frey, King of Pleasure, Plenty, and Peace:

The God Pole, axis mundi of the God Pole Rite, and site of a beautiful hand fasting at Pagan Spirit Gathering 2011:

So we are torn. Are we being (gulp) puritanical? Do we need to loosen up? Or perhaps green phallus needs to be treated a little more respectfully? What do you think?

Post Modest

When you think of Melanie Hexen, many words probably come to mind. Modesty isn’t one of them.

I am suffering from PFD (post festival depression). Those of you who are festival goers can relate. It is so difficult to go from Witch hippies in the forest to mainstream muggles. That first stop at a gas station, everyone is so clean, and the attendants don’t want you to hug them. And the pressure from society to wear a bra. Ugh! It’s 102 degrees people!

So with this PFD, I was dreading my first official meeting with the homeschoolers and supervising teacher. But I adjusted my attitude. Canoeing at Saulsbury is always fun, and some of the moms are my friends.

On the way out, I checked my mail box. One of the homeschool moms had written me a letter! It was long and seemed friendly. How nice! But as I read on I realized that this letter was actually a “shit sandwich” (something nice, something mean, something nice). Buried in the letter was a suggestion that I dress more modestly.

Of course.

Growing up, I was a German exchange student. A country where there are topless soap commercials, nude beaches, and you can sit naked in the community fountain.

I am a witch. I shall be naked in my rites. And my rights.

I am a bellydancer. Women’s bodies are beautiful!

Yes, that is 8 month pregnant me. A filthy harlot.

I am a breastfeeder. A promiscuous breastfeeder! This puritanical bullshit is making things more difficult for young mothers!

I would never feed my baby like this!:

Can you see that no young mothers will be inspired to breastfeed by this?!?

But like this:

Now, sometimes, there is a place for “modesty”. Like with children. But my definition of modest might be different than yours. I would much rather have my children dress like this:

Than like this:

I have had pregnant mamas ask what they will wear when they birth. Have you seen this?


The “Amazing Modest Birthing Skirt” – Tell me, how am I supposed to catch my own baby underwater with all that fabric floating around?

Once I gave birth like this:

But now I prefer to be more in charge:

Modesty is a remnant of our puritanical past. Not only does it keep women oppressed, it twists their sexuality. My aforementioned letter writer suggested I check out http://modestyispretty.blogspot.com/
So I did. In the FAQ, the blogger mentions that she rubs up her legs with lotion before the photos so they are shiny. How un-modest and twisted is that?

But in case you wanted to see how I’d look modest, my friend Rock took care of things:

And as a quiet form of protest, this post was typed completely in my birthday suit:

Next homeschool meeting I’m wearing a bikini and a boa.

A Sacred Harvest Fest Give Away!

We are back! What a wonderful Sacred Harvest Festival we had! Many thanks go out to Harmony Tribe! And we met so many beautiful talented people. One of those people was the Sacred Harvest Festival special guest Crystal Blanton.

She is a mother, grandmother, witch, author, tarot card reader, blogger and counselor. Her new book is Bridging the Gap; Working within the Dynamics of Pagan Groups and Society . In it she explores relationships within Pagan working groups and covens. As I was reading it on the drive home, I realized that much of it could be applied to all types of groups! Here is a description from her website:

As we evolve it becomes increasingly clear that being an incredible ritualist is not all that is needed to be a competent leader or member of our pagan society. Unless they come to the Craft already equipped with these skills from professional training or other life experience, the leaders in our community have not possessed the skills to effectively model or train in these techniques. For all the intensive training we endure in the Craft, pagans as a society are still ill-equipped to competently cope with the growing needs of our own community. Bridging the Gap: Working Within the Dynamics of Pagan Groups and Society will look at filling the common gaps in our community by using techniques as tools to assess, understand, and work with the changing dynamic of any group or coven. While maintaining a professional polish, the book uses humor, common scenarios, exercises, and resources to examine the commonalities between techniques used in the counseling profession; giving the reader concrete, professional solutions to coping with common problems. The book addresses: • Basics of common techniques used in counseling including anger management, assessment tools, boundaries, behavior shaping, restorative justice and many others • The common traps that occur within groups, which lead to devastating effects and dissolution • The creation of the group mind and how it is effected by the budding dynamics of a group • Creating boundaries to effectively mentor students • The importance of creating clear objectives and expectations as a group • The art of holding your group members accountable • When it is not your fight

And so, dear readers, we have another give away for you! Answer the following question, and one of your answers will be chosen randomly on Sunday to receive your very own autographed copy of Crystal’s book!

The question: How did YOU celebrate Lammas/Lughnassadh??