Mirth and Reverence

The Green Phallus
I (Melanie) love penises. 
I have worn a penis necklace often for decades:
I have worked to keep penises intact. 
I love Anaïs Nins story of a woman who loved penises so much that she pretends to faint during a Scottish parade so as to get a better view. 
And yet, I am uncomfortable with the adventures of “green phallus”.
When I first saw the green phallus at a festival, I loved it. It embodied so many things I love: fiber arts, amigurami, penises.
But as time traveled on, I began to feel uncomfortable with green phallus. Or rather, the way it was being treated. Paraded around like a joke. People openly performing sexual acts upon it. Now, you all know that I am bawdy. But in public space, with children present, at 10 in the morning? Even my strong stomach turned. What if this were a vulva? Vulvas are fun. They are sexy. They are sacred. 
But can you imagine a toy vulva being licked, worn, fucked, etc, at a morning meeting?  It might be upsetting!
Chris also feels very conflicted about the adventures of the Green Phallus.  On one hoof, he loves the humor, and holds humor as a sacred thing. He enjoys the light-hearted play around the Green Phallus adventures.  We don’t want to offend anyone, many of whom we love and respect, who have been having such a good time with it.  
 So, we are offering the following in the spirit of balance, and not criticism; to be viewed in addition to the fun, not instead of the fun. 

Our ancestors have employed the symbol of the phallus in their worship for millennia:
Ithyphallic deities are present in many pagan cultures:
Frey, King of Pleasure, Plenty, and Peace:
The God Pole, axis mundi of the God Pole Rite, and site of a beautiful hand fasting at Pagan Spirit Gathering 2011:

So we are torn. Are we being (gulp) puritanical? Do we need to loosen up? Or perhaps green phallus needs to be treated a little more respectfully? What do you think?

Post Modest

When you think of Melanie Hexen, many words probably come to mind. Modesty isn’t one of them.

I am suffering from PFD (post festival depression). Those of you who are festival goers can relate. It is so difficult to go from Witch hippies in the forest to mainstream muggles. That first stop at a gas station, everyone is so clean, and the attendants don’t want you to hug them.  And the pressure from society to wear a bra. Ugh! It’s 102 degrees people!

So with this PFD, I was dreading my first official meeting with the homeschoolers and supervising teacher. But I adjusted my attitude. Canoeing at Saulsbury is always fun, and some of the moms are my friends.

On the way out, I checked my mail box. One of the homeschool moms had written me a letter! It was long and seemed friendly. How nice! But as I read on I realized that this letter was actually a “shit sandwich” (something nice, something mean, something nice). Buried in the letter was a suggestion that I dress more modestly.

Of course.

Growing up, I was a German exchange student. A country where there are topless soap commercials, nude beaches, and you can sit naked in the community fountain.

I am a witch. I shall be naked in my rites. And my rights.

I am a bellydancer. Women’s bodies are beautiful!

Yes, that is 8 month pregnant me. A filthy harlot.

I am a breastfeeder. A promiscuous breastfeeder! This puritanical bullshit is making things more difficult for young mothers!

I would never feed my baby like this!:

Can you see that no young mothers will be inspired to breastfeed by this?!?

But like this:

Now, sometimes, there is a place for “modesty”. Like with children. But my definition of modest might be different than yours. I would much rather have my children dress like this:

Than like this:

I have had pregnant mamas ask what they will wear when they birth. Have you seen this?

The “Amazing Modest Birthing Skirt” – Tell me, how am I supposed to catch my own baby underwater with all that fabric floating around?

Once I gave birth like this:

But now I prefer to be more in charge:

Modesty is a remnant of our puritanical past. Not only does it keep women oppressed, it twists their sexuality. My aforementioned letter writer suggested I check out http://modestyispretty.blogspot.com/
So I did. In the FAQ, the blogger mentions that she rubs up her legs with lotion before the photos so they are shiny. How un-modest and twisted is that?

But in case you wanted to see how I’d look modest, my friend Rock took care of things:

And as a quiet form of protest, this post was typed completely in my birthday suit:

Next homeschool meeting I’m wearing a bikini and a boa.